with everything that has happened these past few days, i am so overwhelmed with happiness and it made me think of the things/people that led me to it. i believe that when you are happy, you should express it. :)
i am very thankful for my family for understanding and embracing me during those times when i could not even muster the courage to see the light of day. we are not the type of family who talks about everything but even in silence, i felt that they are with me during those difficult times.
i am very thankful for my friends- old and new. the old ones who have been with me since the days when all we cared about was barbies and polly pockets.. and the new ones who, without hesitation, made me feel a part of their group even on the first day we met. to the friends who i can share all my deepest thoughts and who can listen to me without any judgement. to the friends who can give me the most sane answers to all my crazy questions. to the friends who never left my side and never made me feel alone. <you all know who you are>
i am thankful for kim hyun joong leader who made me realize that life is just one shot.. that the life i have right now is amazing. that i own every bit and piece of my life and i can always do something to make it better. i learned to never look at mistakes as failure but as lessons. he is such an inspiration. thanks to his dongsaengs who makes it seem like life is so much fun and breezy and i acknowledge that without the 4 of them, kim hyun joong would not be who he is today. i love SS501 :)
i am thankful for God and the life he has given me.. for the rustling of the leaves, for the chirping of the birds, for the humming of the wind.. for the laughter of a child and the smile of a stranger. i believe God created all of this for me to make sure that i can always feel Him. He is amazing.
“A grateful heart is also a happy heart. I think ahlia언니 helped me understand and see this too. I can now understand why grateful people seemed so happy all the time even if they don’t always get the best things in life. I am slowly becoming just as happy, and I am amazed by the power of this thing call gratitude. I always wonder how could we fully appreciate someone fully with all our hearts? When we do things for others, do we usually do it because we have to, or we are taught to do it, or that we truly feel sincere and that is why we do something? I never truly understand what is gratitude, but because of a variety of reasons related to Kim Hyun Joong, I am starting to understand why – and surprised at the extent of power it has to make a person happy.
**KHJ** now that i've calmed down, i can finally write.. lol
the past two days were the most fun i’ve had in a loooong time. i felt so happy! i never thought i’d ever become a fangirl, a kpop fangirl to be exact.. but everything changed a few months ago. Early this year, i found out that my boyfriend of 9 years (which is now an ex ^^) got another girl pregnant. i was so devastated. i felt like the whole world was crumbling down on top of me. the picture i had of a happy life was shattered in just a single moment. on top of that, while i was still a complete mess, i also caught chicken pox. i was isolated in the four corners of my room for two weeks. what was i to do but cry my eyes out and do some daily rounds of self pity. but aside from that, i was also praying for help and enlightenment. so one day i turned on the tv and My Princess, a korean drama, was airing on one of the local channels. for the first time in weeks, i finally had a genuine laugh. i then realized at that moment that i own my happiness and that i can do something to change how i am feeling. i realized that i am still in control. there was the enlightenment that i was asking for. :) after watching My Princess, i asked my friend who is a kpop/kdrama addict to lend me some of her DVDs. and so she gave me *drumroll please* Playful Kiss. this is when i started to pay attention to kim hyun joong ssi. i went online (which i always do lol) and researched about him. i read articles, watched videos, listened to his songs. i was so busy getting to know more about him that i forgot how heart broken i was. i was so inspired by him and how he handles life. he gave me healing. some people would think it’s silly but i draw my strength from him. most fangirls would probably dream of kim hyun joong as their boyfriend or their husband but to me, more than being an idol, i think of him as my angel. so yes, a kpop idol brought me healing. :)
i cannot believe i’m crying as i write this lol so.. let’s move on to the fun stuff. when i found out that the face shop is having a raffle for kim hyun joong’s asia tour, i asked my friend to buy a ticket for me. i was not really expecting to win. i also was not sure if i’ll be able to see him because i was still waiting for the result of my US visa interview. i wanted to go to the states too, i wanted to be there for my cousin’s wedding. but unfortunately, my application was denied. the day after that, i found out i won the raffle, i get to see kim hyun joong up close and have my CD signed. i was so lucky! i felt like God was making up for the denied visa. He was making sure that i will still be happy. He was paving the way. :) so, i was able to see kim hyun joong from afar during the hi-5 event.. and yesterday, i got to see him upclose during the face shop’s fansign event. i even met a few friends along the way. my seatmate, paula (yes, we have the same name!) was very delightful to talk to. she came all the way from thailand! :) while patiently waiting for more than an hour, we shared our love for kim hyun joong. i found out that we have the same experience that led us to our love for leader. it was great to meet another person who shares the same sentiments. another fun thing was that dada, my friend who was sitting in the admission pass area was called to join a game and won! she also got an autographed CD of kim hyun joong. when i met kim hyun joong for a few seconds on stage, i was surprisingly calm. i thought i’d be a mess. instead,i just looked at him intently and said “kamsahamnida.” that single word meant every little thing that i was feeling-gratitude. dada wasn’t able to take photos of me on stage so last night i was praying that i’d find one on the internet. this morning i went online and hello, i got myself a video with leader smiling at me. :) i don’t think any of these events are just coincidences. this is God’s way of telling me that He is just here and that i shouldn’t be afraid because He will always be there for me.
take joy in simple things. look at them as big blessings.. appreciate life and create your own happines..
“On this day, God wants you to know… that beginnings are only possible where there are endings. Clear acknowledged endings are as necessary to intelligible life, as pauses between notes to intelligible music. Although endings sometimes feel like the end of you, take them for what they really are, - the end of a stage in your life. Here is to new beginnings!”—God wants You to Know FB app
Are you a fangirl of Kim Hyun Joong? I got this bracelet from The Face Shop when I made a purchase. I have the white one! Want it? Follow me & keep reblogging (likes don’t count)! I’ll pick a random winner to mail it to!