the past two days were the most fun i’ve had in a loooong time. i felt so happy! i never thought i’d ever become a fangirl, a kpop fangirl to be exact.. but everything changed a few months ago. Early this year, i found out that my boyfriend of 9 years (which is now an ex ^^) got another girl pregnant. i was so devastated. i felt like the whole world was crumbling down on top of me. the picture i had of a happy life was shattered in just a single moment. on top of that, while i was still a complete mess, i also caught chicken pox. i was isolated in the four corners of my room for two weeks. what was i to do but cry my eyes out and do some daily rounds of self pity. but aside from that, i was also praying for help and enlightenment. so one day i turned on the tv and My Princess, a korean drama, was airing on one of the local channels. for the first time in weeks, i finally had a genuine laugh. i then realized at that moment that i own my happiness and that i can do something to change how i am feeling. i realized that i am still in control. there was the enlightenment that i was asking for. :) after watching My Princess, i asked my friend who is a kpop/kdrama addict to lend me some of her DVDs. and so she gave me *drumroll please* Playful Kiss. this is when i started to pay attention to kim hyun joong ssi. i went online (which i always do lol) and researched about him. i read articles, watched videos, listened to his songs. i was so busy getting to know more about him that i forgot how heart broken i was. i was so inspired by him and how he handles life. he gave me healing. some people would think it’s silly but i draw my strength from him. most fangirls would probably dream of kim hyun joong as their boyfriend or their husband but to me, more than being an idol, i think of him as my angel. so yes, a kpop idol brought me healing. :)
i cannot believe i’m crying as i write this lol so.. let’s move on to the fun stuff. when i found out that the face shop is having a raffle for kim hyun joong’s asia tour, i asked my friend to buy a ticket for me. i was not really expecting to win. i also was not sure if i’ll be able to see him because i was still waiting for the result of my US visa interview. i wanted to go to the states too, i wanted to be there for my cousin’s wedding. but unfortunately, my application was denied. the day after that, i found out i won the raffle, i get to see kim hyun joong up close and have my CD signed. i was so lucky! i felt like God was making up for the denied visa. He was making sure that i will still be happy. He was paving the way. :) so, i was able to see kim hyun joong from afar during the hi-5 event.. and yesterday, i got to see him upclose during the face shop’s fansign event. i even met a few friends along the way. my seatmate, paula (yes, we have the same name!) was very delightful to talk to. she came all the way from thailand! :) while patiently waiting for more than an hour, we shared our love for kim hyun joong. i found out that we have the same experience that led us to our love for leader. it was great to meet another person who shares the same sentiments. another fun thing was that dada, my friend who was sitting in the admission pass area was called to join a game and won! she also got an autographed CD of kim hyun joong. when i met kim hyun joong for a few seconds on stage, i was surprisingly calm. i thought i’d be a mess. instead,i just looked at him intently and said “kamsahamnida.” that single word meant every little thing that i was feeling-gratitude. dada wasn’t able to take photos of me on stage so last night i was praying that i’d find one on the internet. this morning i went online and hello, i got myself a video with leader smiling at me. :) i don’t think any of these events are just coincidences. this is God’s way of telling me that He is just here and that i shouldn’t be afraid because He will always be there for me.
take joy in simple things. look at them as big blessings.. appreciate life and create your own happines..
happiness is an inside job <3
screencap credit: KIMHYUNJOONGPERFECT
**my thank yous also go to the face shop, polyeast, triple s ph, henecia ph and everyone who made KHJ’s visit a successful one. kamsahamnida!